Damn Good Instincts
by ElCapitan18
Summary: Inquisitor Lavellan is starting to doubt herself and Cullen is there to remind her that it's all going to be okay. Written before the release of DAI, so no spoilers. One shot.


"Inquisitor!"

Her heart jumped into her throat at the sound of his voice, and her stride staggered as she almost tripped over her own feet. Delani kept her gaze forward, swallowing hard against the emotion amassing in her throat, the thicket of disappointment and self loathing spreading in her chest, the knots of despair tightening her stomach. She couldn't do this right now. She couldn't look into those lovely golden eyes. Not after today.

"Another time, Cullen." she croaked and her face immediately scrunched in disgust at the emotional hitch of her voice.

Delani clenched her fists at her sides, forcing herself to be strong. She only needed to make it to her chambers, that was all. Once she was behind the safety of those doors she could permit herself a moment of weakness. But right now, out here, she was expected to be more; she was expected to be strong. She hurried her pace when she heard the sound of the male human advisor catching up to her.

"Lavellan," he called, his tone filled with concern. "Are you alright?"

Creators damn those long human legs. He was on her within a few strides, pulling her to a stop and turning her to face him. She could feel the weight of his worried gaze on her face and moving along her exposed skin, scanning over her in search of injury. When he found none he moved his gaze to her face and frowned at the sight of her refusing to meet his eyes.

Delani looked over his shoulder, at the scar on his lip, the glossy shine of his golden hair, the rafters high above their heads, anywhere but those gorgeous eyes. Grinding her teeth, she sucked in deep breaths through her clenched teeth and tried to maintain a semblance of calm. If he forced her to speak now she would lose her resolve, and Delani simply couldn't allow him to see what a mess that would be.

"What happened, Lavellan?"

He placed a finger under her chin, forcing her gaze to meet his, and the second that the warmth of his skin pressed against hers her eyes started to water. Delani ripped her chin from his grasp and retreated a step back. She tried to sniff away the emotion prickling her sinuses, willed herself to pull herself together, but there was something about the look in his eyes that made her unable to hide from him.

Cullen took a tentative step in her direction, trying his luck a second time only to stop short when Delani pulled her lips back and physically snarled at him.

"_Another. Time. Cullen_." she repeated with more bite than was necessary. Delani swiveled on her heel and tried again to retreat from the interaction, but Cullen was uncharacteristically insistent today of all days. She made it as far as outside before he stopped her again.

"No." He grabbed her bicep again, his grip firm but affable, and pulled her toward a small grassy area, shaded by trees, and secluded from prying eyes. When Delani tore her arm from his grasp, he let her reclaim the limb without argument. He had her where he wanted her, it no longer mattered whether or not they were touching.

The worry in his eyes shined with sincerity, and his handsome features were pinched with uncertainty. Knowing better than to reach out for her again, Cullen kept his hands at his sides as he asked one more time, "What happened, Lavellan?"

The lulling tone of his voice pulled the tears from her eyes, tears she had been fighting so hard to keep back. Angrily grinding the heels of her palms into her eyes, Delani impatiently wiped her face dry as she growled, "I have a first name, Commander Cullen. If I have to remind you how to use it one more time, I'm going to gut you like a boar for the blood moon feast."

When she glanced at him it was in time to catch a small smirk twitching at the corner of his mouth before disappearing completely. They had spoken enough times for him to understand her crass sense of humor, and didn't take insult to her verbal hostility.

Taking the hint, he amended, "Delani." Her stomach flipped at the sound of her name in his mouth. "What happened today?"

Still unable to hold his gaze, she turned her back to him and stared into the trees surrounding them. Silence fell between them as Cullen waited for her to answer, and she knew that she had to answer. There was no avoiding this conversation, because if he hadn't heard already he would hear soon and they would be right back in this very same spot; having come full circle to face the inevitable.

Expelling a desperate sigh, she combed her fingers though her long auburn bangs and brushed them out of her face. "I failed," she finally answered, her voice barely a decibel higher than a whisper.

The wind carried her voice to his ears, and Cullen took a half step towards her, but that was all. "Failed how?" He asked. His voice was soothing, calming, like she was a spooked mare at risk of bolting.

Her eyes were welling with more force now, the tears spilling faster than she had time to blink them back. Shaking her head, she tried to keep her voice level when she answered him. "I made the wrong call." Delani irritably wiped away tears as they fell, angry that she wasn't able to maintain a better grip on her emotions.

She answered his next question before he could ask it. "I was put on the spot, I had to make a judgment call so I did." Sniffing, she finished, "I made the wrong call and it cost people their lives."

He walked a circle around her, wanting to maintain a respectful distance while also getting a good look at her face. Cullen's expression was sympathetic, and that made her feel a hundred times worse. "You've made difficult decisions before, Delani; a few with similar results. Why is this time so different?"

Her eyes narrowed and she glared at him. Delani felt herself fill with irrational anger, and she directed it at Cullen. "Because of you," she hissed with enough venom to send him a startled step back.

His surprised expression fanned her anger. Delani took a vehement step in his direction and jabbed him in the chest. "_You're_ the reason I'm second guessing myself. _You're_ the reason I can't think straight."

His mouth hung open in an uncertain 'o' and he shook his head. Cullen's tone was as patient and gentle as ever when he next spoke. "Delani, I don't understand—"

"I feel like every wrong decision I make brings danger nearer to Skyhold, to _you_." she clarified for him, anger in her eyes, fury in her tone. "I feel like every misstep is a step closer in failing the inquisition, and in failing you."

Squeezing her eyes shut to prevent the fresh wave of tears from spilling over, she shook her head when they fell from her lashes regardless of her efforts. "And the thought of failing you, of losing you to my own stupidity, it terrifies me."

Before she had time to react Delani was being swallowed up by the warmth of Cullen's embrace. His arms wrapped tightly around her, pressing her snuggly against his chest, and she didn't have it in her to push away. She buried her face in his chest and allowed him to hold her as she cried. His hands were stroking her hair as he held her, the deep rumble of his voice hushing her soft whimpers until she finally fell silent.

When he was certain that the riot of her emotions had reached its end, Cullen pulled away slightly and looked down at Delani. There was a soft smile on his lips, it was warm like the sun. His golden eyes were regarding her with such adoration that she felt like crying all over again. What had she ever done in her life to deserve to be looked at like _that. _Surely she was unworthy of his affection, especially after today.

"You won't lose me, Delani." he said with such certainty in his voice. Cullen's callused hands moved up her arms until he was gently cupping her face. Using his thumbs to wipe away the fresh tears that dared to fall from her lashes, he smiled tenderly as he reassured her, "No one is expecting you to be perfect, or to always make the right decisions. All we expect from you is for you to do what you think is best, and to trust your instincts."

"And, Delani," he waited for her to meet and hold his gaze. His sideways smile grew into a full on grin, causing his warmth and confidence to radiate from him like rays from the sun. "You have damn good instincts."

Placing her hands on top of his, she thumbed over his knuckles as she stared into his enrapturing eyes. Cullen was a man like none she had ever met, and she couldn't understand what he possibly saw in her that drew him in. Perhaps he had taken a few too many blows to the head during his time as a templar. Whatever it was, she wasn't going to question it lest he realize that she wasn't worth the trouble.

"They were right about you, after all." She commented, allowing a mischievous smirk to hint at the corner of her mouth.

Blond eyebrow arching with curiosity, he wondered, "And what do your instincts say about me, dear Inquisitor?"

Her smirk spread into a smile and Delani purred, "That you're a damned good kisser." before her gaze moved down to his lips and that delicious looking scar.

A laugh sounded from him then, before he dipped his face down toward hers. "Like I said," his voice was husky, seductive, and equal parts playful. Cullen whispered, "Damn good instincts," before claiming her mouth with his.

**Considering telling Delani Lavellan's story, that is if anyone is interested in reading it. Let me know what you think**


End file.
